random {thoughts}

random thoughts in my head today that for some reason i felt like sharing with you:

1. pandora is really great until it plays a song that you really don't want to hear. and then i hate it. no i don't change the song. i just curse pandora the whole time it's playing.
2. when your heart is hurting, just don't listen to any music at all. because i promise every single song that could possibly make your heart hurt worse will play. sometimes 3 different times in the same day.
3. i have learned so much about myself in the last 5 days. a lot of which i do not like.
4. half the battle. now i get to to change it.
5. i will forever have sympathy for people that have disc/nerve problems. after the pain i've been in for the last 9 days, i can't imagine people that live with this chronically. it's awful.
6. i need some yellow in my life. fast.
7. i miss gus every day that i'm not around him. that baby/little boy/man child is so special.
8. you cannot intentionally hurt someone you love. it's impossible. you don't hurt them on purpose or you don't love them. bottom line.
9. someone just had this on their fb status and i had to steal it: if your presence doesn't matter, your absence won't. #truth
10. i am overwhelmed every day with everything i have to do.
11. my dad just called. i miss living with my parents. i miss living with anyone.
12. i am so incredibly lonely and it is ruining pretty much every part of my life. this would the first thing on my "fix" list.
13. starting with KI with joy tomorrow night for a few hours. she knows me better than i know myself and i am incredibly grateful for her friendship.
14. i really really hate olives. tried to love one yesterday. hated it.
15. i have to go shoot in this weather. FAIL. okay that means i have to wrap this up.
16. i'm not as strong as i thought i was.
17. i'm not as hard hearted as i thought i was either.
18. i don't love 16. but i think 17 is a good thing.
19. i have more than most people do and i welcome that reminder. keeps me seeing this life in perspective.
20. i am a good person. i need that reminder.
21. maggie is the best thing ever. maybe because she's my left lung.
22. in the end, everything will be okay. if it's not okay, it's not the end.
23. uh, the end.

xx