anything if it's yellow {perspective}

if you had to sum up christmas in one word {uh, other than christmas}, what would it be?

some of you might have watched too many lifetime movies and you'd say "family", some of you might go the spiritual route and you'd say "Jesus" {and obvi you'd be right}, and some of you will be honest and you'd say...

presents.

let's be honest. you're either a kid {i'd be impressed if a kid was reading this} and you just want, want, want or you're a parent, a grandparent, an auntie or someone else who got conned into buying for a kid and you're fighting with people the day after thanksgiving for an easy bake oven or you're waiting last minute and buying a giftcard {guilty}. you're a spouse who just has no idea what to get for her husband. maybe you adopted a family to buy for. maybe you drew a name with your friends. at the end of the day, i'd be surprised if none of you reading this had to buy a present for anyone this christmas or were going to receive one.

buying and receiving presents at christmas doesn't bother me. while i have learned in my adulthood that it's not the "reason for the season", with the exception of going completely over the top for bratty kids {cause that bothers everyone}, buying things for the people you love is all good with me.

i generally like whatever people get me. are there times i think "i really would have rather had..."?  sure. we want what we want. but for the most part...i just want good things - thinks i like, things that make me happy.

this morning, i was talking about christmas presents with maddi, who is 7. i said, "what should miss rachel ask santa to get her for christmas?" and she just looked at me with a smile and said, "you like anything if it's yellow."

out of the mouth of babes.

it's really true. i like anything that's yellow. yellow clothes, yellow decor, yellow food {yes sometimes i eat things solely because they're yellow}, yellow appliances, yellow everything. and if you have followed me long enough, you know that the color yellow is also symbolic to me. it's happiness, it's things falling into place, it's time with people i love, it's the light at the end of dark tunnels, it's even been the dark tunnels. yellow is my joy.

this morning, just an hour or so before i had that conversation with maddi, i had a conversation with the only person that teaches me more than the kiddos in my life - God. remember the blog about asking God for something specific? still am. the prayer has changed a bit but i still believe it hasn't been answered and i'm waiting. sometimes patiently but more often not {just being honest}. but i've said to him {and meant it}, that i'm good either way, knowing that his ways are higher than mine.

whatever he brings to my life, whatever he gives me, whatever he works out, and even whatever he allows to come into my life {talking about the hard things, the no's, the 'storms') is yellow. and after praying this morning for what i want, telling the creator of the universe that i want it but i'm okay with whatever he gives me, a little girl reminded me of one simple little truth -

i like anything.

if it's yellow.

if i could write a letter to me...{yep}

know the song? you non-country lovers might not. so go to youtube and search for brad paisley's song and fall in love.

i heart that song. if he could write a letter to himself at younger ages, he'd tell himself to do things differently, thank people that cared about him, not be discouraged by heartache, etc.

so guess what i'm going to do? yep.

if i could write a letter to me....

from 0-5 years old: yeah, i don't remember you. but you were such a cute little girl. and judging from the pictures i've seen of you, you loooooved your daddy. as you should have. at some point when you were 3ish, you met a girl named joy. you were probably scared of her. as you should have been. but she's going to be the most faithful friend you've ever had. so share your sunchips with her.

from age 5-10: i'm glad you spent so much time in the pool. and even though it's technically sun damage, i love every freckle you have. and there are a lot of them.

you're going to love a band called the new kids on the block. don't worry - when you're 26, you're going to get to touch one of them at a concert. it will seriously be the highlight of your life.

no matter what your brother and sister say, you do not suffer from a disease called "fro-inosis".

in february 1994: something's going to happen today that you're not going to understand. you're going to get to spend the night at your friend's house on a school night and think it's awesome. you'll find out the next day that your dad had a heart attack and you'll cry because your sister did. you have no idea how your dad's health will affect the rest of your life. do me a favor and don't be a brat so often. go easy on the old guy. especially since he spent all of your childhood at your soccer and basketball games and taking you to sharon dippity.

junior high me: you're going to go to a new school where for the next 6 years, everyone will know you as the "brutally honest" one. stop. really. i'm even annoyed with you and i...was you.

high school me: i'm really glad you had brittany in high school. you had so much fun. i'm not really glad that you were so mean sometimes. i know why you were. you were the odd girl out sometimes before you came to this school and you didn't want it to happen again. i get it. not happy with you for it but i get it. you weren't happy with yourself and that makes me sad. you're going to have to grow up in november of 2002 when your childhood friend dies in a car accident. you and your friends made the best of every time you were together and i'm glad you have those memories. oh and really, your eyebrows - what in the world were you thinking? and the orange and blonde highlights on your black hair? fail. major, major fail.

december 11, 1999: your grandpa is going to die today. i'm so glad you had 14 years with him. i'm glad you got to go to the park and pinky's with him on secret ice cream trips. you're going to miss him forever.

february 16, 2000: you're going to make the best decision of your life tonight. there will be so many times in your life that the only comfort you have is Christ's love. so glad you accepted it.

october 2001: you're going to get in your first car accident. glad it was just a fender bender.

june 2003: you're going to graduate high school. you and joy will sing a song that will embarrass you but 8 years later, you'll try to remember the words and sing it together in the car and laugh. just a heads up so you don't have to google so much - it was called listen to our hearts.

august 2003: you're going to go to college and make a lot of memories over the next 3 years. when he talks to you that first time, don't fall so hard. when you really don't want to go to western civilization, you should probably go. i wish you hadn't been such a follower since that's not who you are at all. i'm glad you went away and lived away from your family though. you grew so much.

march 12, 2004: this is going to be the the most painful day of your life. you're going to get in your friend's car and drive to ohio for spring break. you won't get to ohio today though. she's going to lose control of the car, you're going to flip a bunch of times and then get thrown out, you're going to take a very expensive helicopter ride {you won't remember} to west virginia and you'll hang out at st. mary's hospital where some doctors and nurses will save your life. you're going to be in an extreme amount of pain, some of which will last a very long time. you're going to have to leave school for awhile, have surgery, have scars, have pain. if i could tell you what to do that morning, though, i'd tell you to still get in that car. the good that came from that day is something only you and i understand.

you're going to meet mel gibson. i wish you would have not looked a mess so you would have gotten a picture with him.

october 2, 2005: you're going to get a terrible phone call. your friend kevin is going to die today. it will just so happen that all of your housemates will be gone all day and you'll sit in your room and cry for hours. i wish i could hug you.

summer 2006: you're going to meet a girl named maggie. is this where i tell you that you should run? nah. you're going to need her.

2006-2010: you're going to kind of spiral down. you're going to make terrible decisions, get in debt, gain weight, date stupid men, shirk responsibility and be a typical early 20 something. i wish i could have cut your credit cards up you dummy. i'm still under the burden of that.

may 7, 2006: you're going to become an aunt. she's going to be beautiful.

2007: you're going to spend money you don't have on a camera you "don't need". that camera will change your life. i'm glad you bought it.

august 20, 2009: you're going to be an aunt again. she's going to be beautiful too. even when you don't want to make the drive down to children's hospital, go every time to visit her.

january 14, 2010: you're going to make a decision to change your life today. it's going to be so hard. but my life is different because you decided to get healthy. i'm so proud of you.

october 16, 2010: you're going to LET maggie marry paul. that was stupid.

november 2010: dad's heart is going to give you a scare again. i'm glad you spent as much time at the hospital with him as you did. no one should be alone in there. and the room service food will be delicious.

you're going to fall in love a few times. and then you're going to fall out of love. a couple of times it won't be so hard. and one or two of the times, it will be terrible. i wish i could tell you how rarely you'll think of them now and how wrong you'll realize they were for you.

don't get offended so easily.

don't waste your time arguing politics, social issues, etc. even though you really enjoy it.

i'm being completely serious right now: don't give deals to friends in business. you will resent them for it.

i'm not sure if i should tell you that bangs were a good idea or not. jury's still out on that one.

visit your mamaw more.

i'm really glad you weren't much of a worrier growing up. if i have children, i'd want them to be as care-free as you.

don't watch food inc. okay, nevermind, do it. it was good for you.

but don't watch black swan. seriously.

lots of things i wish you'd done less. lots of things i wish you'd done more. even some things i wish had never happened. but really - i like you. for the most part. you'll be better because of your pain. you'll grow from your mistakes.

if i could tell you to do anything differently, i'd have to say - love more.

and the eyebrows. i wish you had fixed the eyebrows.

xx