scar tissue that i wish you saw {life}

"dead people don't have scars."

someone said that to me 5 or 6 months after my car accident when i was being emo about mine. if you've met me in the last few years, you'd probably say, "what scars?" believe me, they were there. the ones on my left hand were most noticeable. my hand was pretty much covered with them and well, i'm left handed so often when i reached for something or waved at someone, i'd hear, "oh my gosh, what happened to your hand??" the ones on my face were thankfully near my hairline and fairly easy to cover with makeup. i didn't wear a dress for the longest time because the ones on my legs always brought about that same question - "oh my gosh, what happened to you??"

i remember a doctor saying that he expected my skin {specifically my face} to heal well based on how fast it began to heal from the beginning. i did not have high expectations. i was young and vain and mortified by my scars, even the ones in really unimportant places like my hands and even my toes.

then i heard those words - "dead people don't have scars." it took me a few minutes to get it and months to understand it.

i was alive.

an accident that could have {and logically, should have} taken my life, didn't. it beat me up, it caused me pain, it left me with scars but it didn't kill me.

i think you know where i'm going with this. :)

speaking personally, i have a lot of scars. not only on my skin but on my soul. some, maybe most, are self-inflicted. some are not. some are really fresh. some have been there for years. some didn't hurt all that bad. some of them nearly killed me.

but they didn't.

those of you that didn't even know i had scars on my face, my hands, my legs - you're the proof that scars fade. with proper care, they do. so i use vitamin e for my body and the love of my savior, my family and my friends for the ones on my soul.

they're never really gone. and as along as you're alive, you'll probably keep getting them. you'll accidentally cut yourself chopping vegetables, you'll get your heart broken, you'll fall playing sports, and you'll be betrayed by someone you trust. but if you keep getting them, it means nothing's killed you yet.

so keep living.
scars fade.
life is so yellow.

xx